Acceptance
by Kare Uta
Summary: Rin returns after five years to see Akira. Oneshot.


**Acceptance**

"_Come back to my place." _Is what Akira had told him after meeting again.

Rin's chest and stomach filled with butterflies as he watched Akira walk on. When he didn't hear the sounds of footsteps Akira glanced back, his features softening a little as he looked down at Rin's leg, "Am I walking too fast?"

Rin promptly shook his head while trying to will the strange feeling he had out of his body, "I'm fine." He picked up the pace and followed Akira to his one-room apartment. Looking around, he realized it suited the silent Akira he knew perfectly. There were only the very bare necessities; a single bed, a small kitchen in the entrance, a single chair and a small and simple cupboard lined up with a small fridge. "It suits you perfectly."

"Take a seat." Akira tidied up the clothes from the foot of the bed and chucked them onto the chair. He turned back to the kitchenette, and in the meantime Rin sat on the bed contemplating the odd feelings that continued welling up inside of him.

When Akira returned he passed Rin a steaming cup, and the blond inhaled the scent before looking up at him, "Tea?"

"I wasn't sure if you could drink yet."

"I can't but…" Rin silenced himself before he could say anything else. He inhaled the scent a little longer, blowing on it lightly.

"When did you get out of the hospital again?"

"Yesterday afternoon."

"What took so long?"

Rin looked up promptly, confused. "What took _me_ so long?"

"It's been five years."

"I didn't know where you lived, I didn't know your full name, I didn't know your number… You knew where I was…"

"That's wrong." Akira hissed lowly. "I didn't… Five years ago I came to see you at the hospital and they had said you were already gone."

"How did you know I was in the hospital again?"

"I had someone keep an eye out for you."

Rin put a hand to his chest, feeling his heartbeat as he continued to sip his tea. Truthfully he felt a little happy, and a little ashamed; had he known Akira was really looking for him he may have come back sooner.

"Where have you been staying?"

"Where? Hospitals, hostels; anywhere I could find."

"You're going to be staying close?"

"I hope so." He hadn't really thought about it actually. It was difficult to do so.

Akira seemed unfazed, standing to get another beer, "There's only one bed but stay until you find a permanent place."

It took him by surprise; he had never expected that sort of acceptance after so long. 5 years was a long time. Akira would tell him to make himself at home, to relax, to help himself to anything, but Rin still felt tense and he couldn't understand why. After a simple meal of fried fish and fried vegetables, something small and possibly the only thing that Akira knew how to make. Akira passed him some clean light clothing to change into for bed, and after inhaling sharply Rin went to change.

When he returned Akira was already in bed, facing the wall, his bare back out as he only pulled the blanket up to his waist. "Are you sure it's okay?" Rin asked, realizing how the other had moved to the furthest side of the bed to leave room for him.

He was met with pure silence and, upon peaking over the form, realized that he already seemed to be asleep. Quiet, as usual.

"You must have worked hard." He said out loud. He began to crawl into bed, slowly and carefully so as not to startle the man.

Upon putting his head on the pillow he realized that the bed was the softest thing he'd probably laid on in years. From hospital beds, to small rooms in hostels, to the ground in alleyways this felt almost like heaven to him, and it lulled him off to sleep within a few very quiet moments.

The two were sleeping quietly, peacefully and at what would be a safe distance from each other. A little later into the night Rin was whining quietly and twitching his body in his sleep, jolting suddenly every now and then. It didn't take much else, it was unavoidable, but the next thing he had felt was the solid concrete beneath him.

Akira, always sensitive to unusual sounds in his environment, jolted upright at the sound of the body falling to the ground. He jumped off the bed before the other had enough time to even realize the pain he was in, turning him slowly onto his back, "Hey, Rin!" he patted his face lightly, watching his face contort with a wince as he moved his body about a bit, "What happened?"

Rin opened his eyes wide and promptly sat up right, all but shaking Akira's hands off of him, "Ahh, the bed is higher than usual; I fell trying to get out." He lied.

"Ah," Akira stood up, knowing that Rin didn't want him touching him so suddenly. "Where were you going?"

Rin blinked confusedly, and remembered the lie that had left his lips before he'd had any time to think through his discomfort. "Ah! Bathroom!"

"You need some help?"

"No, no." He struggled to get up, but once he did, despite the little aches and pains from his very sudden tumble, he made it to the bathroom and shut the door behind him promptly.

Noting his flushed features in the mirror he realized, "It's worse than I thought."

He sat down on the side of the tub and recomposed himself slowly, rubbing at his elbow that he'd banged into the floor a little earlier.

A hard knock resonated from the door. "Rin! Are you alright in there?"

Rin groaned lowly, standing and pulling open the door, "Gods, Akira! Privacy!"

"You took quite a fall."

"Just a little bruise later, I'm sure."

They returned to the bedroom and Akira just stood there, gesturing for Rin to get in first.

"Why?" Rin questioned, his tone implying he had taken offense.

"Because the hospital is 30 minutes away and even if it wasn't, I wouldn't want you falling out again."

"I didn't fall out!"

Akira clearly resisted rolling his eyes and dropped everything once Rin quietly crawled into the inner part of the bed. With the wall on one side and Akira on the other, Rin would be the safest he had ever been in the past six or seven years.

Rin tried to relax to keep his heavy heart from breaking through his chest. He couldn't help wondering, had it really been all his fault that they stayed without contact for five long years? Was it really all in his hands? Why would he do that? Why would he have denied the man that saved him what he wanted?

He sat up slowly; Akira looked quite peaceful when he slept. He still had a bit of his typical scowl on it though. A little awkwardly due to his leg Rin crawled to the foot of the bed, climbing over Akira's feet. Thinking that it may have been karma paying him back for lying, Rin really did almost fall due to the bed's height.

He tugged on his jacket; its cool lining made him shiver even before he exited the apartment.

"Because I was still punishing myself."

That really was the answer to all his questions of the past few years.

He rested his head on railings and stared out at the view as though it had something to tell him; a vague and very slight orange light shone from behind some distant buildings.

A heavy sigh resonated, "What are you doing out here?"

Rin jumped, snapping his head to look back. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"You show up out of nowhere after five years and you expect me to sleep?"

With words as cold as ice Rin was back to blaming himself, although he had ever stopped.

"I deserve that."

"I don't…"

"I've really changed over the past five years."

"I can see that."

"I don't know why being around you makes me feel like I did five years ago."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't even know what I mean! Just that I feel like I'm the same person from back then."

Akira joined him completely outside, leaning against the railings in a similar fashion. "I know what you mean." Rin looked at him quickly, prompting him further with a raise of his eyebrow. "I know what you mean and agree that it's tough to know what you mean also."

Rin sighed, "Why does it all have to be so confusing?"

"Why didn't you come back?"

"I wasn't really sure if you wanted to see me."

"You should have come anyway and let me decide that for myself."

Rin scoffed, "Selfish."

"Yes, _we_ are."

His large hand supported Rin by the back of his neck, pulling him closer, "You may have grown up but you're acting the same way you were back then; you don't trust me."

"I…"

"Somehow you've turned back into that kid I knew."

But by bit the walls in his chest were crumbling again; he hated this feeling, it was exactly the same as it was five years ago.

Akira smiled; it was unusual for him to do so in this way but he did, somehow. Maybe he had been able to change more than Rin had. He pulled Rin's face into his neck and his other hand patted the small of his back gently. "I'll get you to trust me again."

"You're wrong." Rin argued; half-hearted. "I do trust you."

"You don't really act like it."

Rin pulled back, scowling, "You didn't break your promise! I did!"

Akira smirked, took him by the hand and pulled him inside into the warmth. "You're going to stay here, right?"

"You...sure?"

"Yes, stay." Akira guided him back to the bed, sitting with him. "I…feel the same way."

Rin's face burned red; he couldn't tell if he was frustrated or if he was embarrassed.

"I thought I'd be angry when I saw you again but…somehow I'm not; or at least not as much as I thought I'd be."

"You _should_ be angry."

"Even if I was…"

"Don't you have a little too much faith in me?"

"No." Akira petted his head lightly, comfortingly as he smiled a bit. "If I didn't lose faith in you back then, when you were at your worst, why would I lose faith in you now when you've tried hard?"

Rin put a hand to his head; he really had begun to feel like he did back then. His chest fluttered with anxiety that welled up into unspeakable relief. Relief that, once it happened, actually hurt.

Akira resisted smiling at that expression; he wasn't comfortable in embracing him just yet, and assumed Rin felt the same way so they just sat there quietly until the younger could keep the feelings from welling into his eyes.

Akira lay down, keeping the space between him and the wall free for Rin; even if Rin's qualms were passing he still didn't trust him at the edge of the bed.

Rin eventually crawled back up to the top of the bed and got under the sheets, getting Akira's attention. "Do you always sleep with that on?"

"Got used to it." Rin shrugged his shoulders, turning to face him.

Akira sighed, moving about to adjust himself to look back at him, "Have you…been with anyone else in the past few years?"

Rin rolled his eyes, though let the smile creep onto his face, "Do I look like I'm in that sort of state?"

"Why not?"

Rin promptly rolled onto his back to hide his smile, "Because…no."

Akira smirked, "So stay here."

"Hm?"

"Really; stay here. You've got nobody waiting for you anywhere else so stay here, with me."

"You're actually serious."

"We have five years to catch up on, don't we?" He leaned in, cupping Rin's face in his hand.

Rin stared at him a little dumbfounded. He didn't think Akira would ever accept him…like this…so suddenly.

Akira kissed him lightly; he wasn't warm and affectionate, nothing like Kazui had been, but he wasn't cold and callous either. He was…careful.

"You're…really serious…"

"I've prepared myself for a long time for this."

Rin smiled and a little timidly began to lean against the other's chest. "Thanks, Akira."

In truth, Akira was the only one that ever really accepted every side of him; the good, the bad, the ugly.

The feelings from now where the same as they were back then.

Because that night he had kissed him. It felt like magic, the way his lips connected with his. It felt right, and somehow, among all of the dizziness that Rin felt from his pent up feelings and the clinging to him like a life line, something inside him had changed, and if it were ever to be reversed it could always be righted by this one person. This new feeling could be dwelled upon later, because, for now, I was content to feel his breath come and go with his.

Vaguely he found himself wondering, was Akira ever really aware of the affect that he had on him?

**A/N: Because I love this pairing to death; I just had to! **

**If you've read this far, please leave a review! Thank you for reading! **


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